Help Me to Help You
The Document That Made Working Life Easier
When I returned to work after treatment for brain cancer, I found it was difficult for others to grasp exactly what had changed for me. I looked fine on the outside, but inside things were much more complicated. I realised that if people understood the nature of my difficulties — and how they could best work with me — then day-to-day life would run far more smoothly for everyone.
That’s how this short document came about. It was something I could share with new colleagues or managers so that I didn’t have to keep explaining myself from scratch each time. If I had to explain my situation to somebody face-to-face, it took me about two years before I could do that without becoming anxious and welling up. It wasn’t an appeal for sympathy — it was a practical guide, written in the hope of helping people understand how to make our collaboration work better. I used this document to feed into the “Reasonable Workplace Adjustments” process I blogged about earlier (see below).
The Original Document
(First written in 2008, shortly after returning to work)
Necessary collateral brain damage during treatment for brain cancer back in 2008 has left me with some issues which it is helpful to me if others understand the impact of, and know how best to work around those issues.
• “attention overload”. This manifests itself as significant difficulties with
o absorbing and recalling a stream of information
o handling complexity
o concentration
• Fatigue – brought on by intense visual tasks and attempting to handle situations that provoke the above attention overload
• bouts of giddyness (Note: in distinguishing giddiness from dizziness by the notion that giddiness is like dizziness, but does not give a sense of spinning)
• Vision – Surgery required damage to my optic nerve resulted in the visual field disorder known as homonymous left hemianopia. This causes particular problems when scanning screens of text and when attempting to move in dynamic environments such as shopping centre crowds. Don’t be surprised if I reach for my white symbol cane in such situations. I am disallowed from holding a driving license.How you can help. Please …
• give me a heads up if you intend to divulge significant information verbally so that I can get ready with one of the strategies for capturing information (pen & paper, voice recorder …)
• give me chance to preserve my working context if you plan to interrupt me
• use email in preference to the spoken word if there’s a lot to communicate
• be tolerant if I seem to take a long time to digest information or seem more error-prone than others
• be aware that I need more time to complete tasks than I previously would have
Why It Worked
This document turned out to be one of the most useful tools I ever created for managing my working life. It made conversations with colleagues easier, and often people told me they were relieved to have some clear guidance on what would help. It shifted the tone from “what’s wrong with Kelvin?” to “what can we do to work well together?”
The biggest value, I found, was in setting expectations early. It took awkwardness out of the equation and meant that the focus could stay on getting the job done — just in a slightly different way.
For Others Who Might Need Something Similar
If you live with cognitive or sensory difficulties, I would strongly recommend creating your own version of this kind of document. It doesn’t need to be long or complicated — just honest, practical, and written in your own voice.
A few pointers:
- Keep it factual rather than emotional.
- Focus on what helps rather than what doesn’t.
- Invite cooperation rather than sympathy.
- Make it something you can update and share easily.
Even if you never share it widely, the very act of writing it can help you clarify your needs and the strategies that make life work a bit more smoothly.
Help Me to Help You – A modernised version
A brief guide for colleagues and collaborators
About Me
Following treatment for brain cancer in 2008, I was left with some lasting effects that influence how I work and communicate. Understanding these helps make our collaboration smoother and more effective for both of us.
Key Challenges
1. Attention overload
I sometimes struggle to absorb and recall streams of information, manage complexity, or sustain concentration for long periods.
2. Fatigue
Mentally demanding tasks — especially those involving a lot of visual processing or multitasking — can quickly lead to tiredness.
3. Giddiness
Occasional bouts of giddiness (similar to dizziness but without the spinning sensation) can make me need to pause briefly.
4. Vision
Surgery damaged my optic nerve, leaving me with homonymous left hemianopia — a loss of vision on my left side. This makes scanning text or navigating busy environments challenging. You might sometimes see me using a white symbol cane for confidence and safety. I no longer hold a driving licence.
How You Can Help
- Please give me a short heads-up if you’re about to share a lot of information verbally, so I can prepare to take notes or record key points.
- If you need to interrupt me, I’d appreciate a moment to jot down where I’ve got to, so I can pick things back up smoothly afterwards.
- Use email or written messages when there’s a lot of detail to convey — it helps me process things more accurately.
- Please be patient if I take longer to digest or respond to complex information.
- Allow me a little extra time for certain tasks — it helps me maintain accuracy and stay on track.
In a Nutshell
My aim is simply to keep communication clear and to work effectively with others. With a few small adjustments, everything runs smoothly.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and for helping make teamwork that bit easier for everyone involved.
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